Farewell Wolverine

I recently watched 'Logan', the final rendition of wolverine's character by Hugh Jackman. I was filled with all awe and nostalgia as the movie ended. I just couldn't digest the fact that I would no longer see Hugh Jackman in Wolverine's suit again. The death of Wolverine, though just for the movie's sake, made me numb. Only those who have been following X-men since childhood would relate to it. Myriad of emotions, memories and empathy attached to this wonderful character flashed before my eyes with wolverine's end. 

 

I still remember the very first time when I saw 'X-men' cartoon was on Fox-Kids, that used to air on star plus channel. Being a child, I was fascinated by these super-humans, from superman to spider-man, who with their special powers would do wonders in their world. This X-men series however had a big gang of super-humans; meaning more super-powers, more action, more adventure. Wolverine was the most ferocious, stylish, and the coolest of all; needless to say, he soon entered my world of fantasy. I was so fascinated with his iron claws that I would cut the branches of my tree and create wooden claws with them. It was the easiest way to emulate as those sticks would easily fit in your knuckles  and all you had to do was hold them tight; and you would become 'The Wolverine' in no time. I used to play in my courtyard with those wooden claws, thinking as if I was a Wolverine then . I had killed much more sentinels in my imagination than wolverine himself could ever have in any episode. But my fantasy too met the Doomsday when Fox-kids stopped broadcasting the X-men series. I was sad for very long time. But, to my surprise, marvel began its X-men franchise on silver screen. Who could have asked for more. And it was then I got to know 'Logan',  a side of Wolverine and X-men which remained unexplored to me till then.

With every installment of the movie, I understood more about the world of X-men. Today I happened to find its resemblance with our world. Very few people are born with special abilities but the world doesn't recognize it. In fact, they call you a 'Mutant', a stigma, a bad-word to disassociate themselves with you; as if you don't belong to this world. How many of you hadn't faced the same abandonment by friends, school groups or people around just because you were not like them or were different in some way. But X-men taught us that we are not alone in this world. We got people like 'Professor Xavier' in veil of a parent, relative or teacher, who would nurture our 'different' identity, would teach us to wear it with pride and would give us a reason as to why we shouldn't  hate those who try to abandon us. People  abandon you because they have a reason to fear. If we use our abilities and special powers, not to overpower them or hurt them but for helping them instead, we would co-exist, as we share this world together. Thus, we got many crazy, mad, outrageous people like us, in our respective 'Xavier's school.' It taught us to live together; help each other outgrow our evils and stand together, to beat bigger odds of life, the mighty sentinels.

I thought I had got all what I wanted from this franchise until I 

saw, 'X-men origins: Wolverine' which got released in 2009. It  deciphered complete character sketch of  Logan and the genesis of  X-men. This movie made me realize that not all mutants are the same. We are not the same. We all have different traumas, different reasons of abandonment; perhaps, different life journeys altogether. Only if we could relate with the Logan we would realize how difficult would be the journey of life. For me, we are all that Logan, (who is unknown of  his existence) People call us by a name but we don't know who we truly are? Though we have parents, friends, careers, work; yet these questions of, "who am I?", "what's my purpose of life?"  keep haunting us too.

 However hard you try to ignore, the Logan in you, will question your world, "Am I just a machine created simply to fulfill social, economic, emotional requirements of others; be it family, friends, society or a world as whole? Did they simply turned me into a mighty weapon-X just to conquer all odds, for an organization, group or a race? They wiped our memories about who we are, what we are; asked us to forget our homes; and in a lieu of enhancing our specialties, they made us a slave of their organization." I feel like an exploited Weapon-X whenever I think what this world is offering me? Just to save myself from the tag 'different'/'Mutant', Do I need to comprome my whole life by becoming a weapon-x of their organization rather than believing in my special powers ? or Am I simply afraid to choose a life of  Logan. A different life from what world promotes; where I can be whoever what I want to be, where I don't have to answer anyone for who am I; where I choose to be free. No careers, no goals, no pressure to impress anyone. A life of I, me and myself.

Furthermore, after many X-Men installments, it was in 2013 when I happened to watch 'X-men Eevolution', animated series, I deciphered profound insights through it. And my views of isolated life met rationality.  I understood that it's not always about you. The world is not such a bad a place to live in, perhaps there is reason to live; Love. One day you would meet Jean grey, who would understand your pain and emotional turmoil; she would help you find yourself and show you the world of love, the love of life. Jean might be a place, person, object or a hobby which would help you connect with your real self. It may travel with you only for some part of your lifetime or may become part of you eternally; either ways, Jean will show you the magic of love and life. Jean teaches you that everyone is lonely as you are but you can even relate to a stranger if you want to; you can even make friends if you start to care; you can even find a home away from home if you want to, for home is not a place but a feeling; the world is a mess, but there are better things to look for, to stand up for;  as you are different and unique as well, you can make a difference, you just have to decide your sphere of influence, and you can become a 'Wolverine!'

In the last franchise 'Logan' I realized how your whole world shatters despite of being a Wolverine throughout your life and yet again, you remain a normal, lonely, Logan in the end. All your special mutant friends with whom you had laughed, fought, played, stood against all odds; are gone. Despite of trying so hard and standing up for good reasons, the world hasn't changed, in fact it has become uglier, darker and worse than before. You become tired of being a wolverine and are simply awaiting death. The immortality which seems like gift to many, feels like a curse to you. You simply want to finish this whole circle of life. But you forget a simple fact, 'It's not about you. Life is not about what you want and what you get, its beyond 'YOU'. ' 

In your pursuit of identity, you did have found an identity. You didn't realize it, but many are influenced by the Wolverine and Logan in you. If you think for a while you would realize that there are many Logans  like you; who don't know who they are, where do they belong; how to fit into this world; who are friend-less, parent-less, purpose-less; searching for a home. You may choose to die, but what about those Logans around, would you want them to experience same pain and loss of existence, the way you have suffered throughout your life? You realize that, there is no escape from life. The pain, melancholy, struggle is continuous; it will follow you till the last breath of your life; in fact it is all part of the human life. It is all about causality and choices, what do you choose? Back then you could have remain isolated and choose to live a life of Logan; a melancholic, ferocious, wild wolf, who cares for nothing; but you had chosen to become more than just logan, you had chosen to be The Wolverine. You fix your mind and choose to become a wolverine again and fight for all the Logans out there. You unleash yourself and put everything in that fight, even your last drop of blood. You meet the purpose and die a heroic death fighting for something which you have spent your whole life craving for, 'HOME'; And there you die in peace; No regrets, no plight, no desires anymore. 

You wonder how an abandoned, lost, lonely, outrageous, weapon-x,  spent  his whole life trying to figure out, who Logan really is; and instead became a Wolverine in the process. The Logans for whom you have fought for, bury you and bid a farewell to your existence by tilting the cross to 'X' sign, as mark of tribute for the one who stood for them, fought for them; gave them a hope and zillions of memories for the world to remember, 

 'W o l v e r i n e ...!'